Roundup Fun

I've always felt a latent brutishness, waiting just below the surface of most Greek events in college, ready to explode at the slightest provocation. Lo and behold, my hypothesis now has at least one piece of anecdotal evidence:

A DPS officer was challenged to a fight following an altercation involving "chairs, pipes and other objects" and approximately 60 people outside the Beta Omega Phi fraternity house early Sunday morning.

An unnamed DPS officer was flagged down around 2:30 a.m. by Jae Chang, vice president of Beta Omega Phi, an Asian Greek Council fraternity located on The Row.

According to crime reports, the officer arrived on the scene to find "several large groups of males" in an altercation apparently initiated by two females at a party hosted by Beta Omega Phi.

There has to be a zoological term for congregations of idiots such as those most frequently present at Greek gatherings (don't worry, I've attended a few in my day...I just classify myself as a moron). I must say I love what happened next:

When the officer ordered the groups to cease fighting, four of the males challenged him to a fight while being urged on by other participants.

"(They) were not responding to the officer's order and actually advanced on him," said DPS Capt. David Carlisle. "It was a large, out-of-control brawl."

Saitoh called the situation a "slight altercation."

...

Crime reports state that the suspects fled when officers sprayed them with pepper spray after they refused to comply.

The incident is still under investigation by DPS and has been referred to both Student Affairs and Judicial Affairs.

"Girls fight about everything," said Saitoh. "I imagine it was a bit of drunken rage mixed with jealousy."

Congratulations to Kent Saitoh, a former president of Beta Omigoddidyoujustmakefunofmyhair PhightClub, for terrible damage control coupled with a little misogyny. More importantly, I love the fact that the tough guys got a face full of pepper spray. In this case, I can say that DPS has served humanity well.

In a note only related to the earlier links to the words "moron" and "idiot," it is worth noting that the scale for mental retardation no longer employs those terms. Now, mentally challenged folks are classified as mild, moderate, severe and profound. Oddly enough, I find most political moderates to actually be quite profound.