The Day Scalia Came to Class

Whoof, what a week.

Justice Scalia came to class, I played drunken air guitar at a party with a parent of a notorious criminal, and the Colts won the Super Bowl, which I attended.

Guess which one is false?

The answer is none, since I think of the Super Bowl as an international event that transcends the typical definitions of place and space. Or at least my post-modern self believes that.

But of the three, the only one that merits real explanation is Justice Scalia's visit. He did, in fact, come to class. As it turns out, he and my professor were buddies "in the trenches" of the Ford administration. Judging from their descriptions of how miserable being in the Ford admin was, I'd say "in the shark feeding tank" might be a better descriptor. Regardless, the bond they forged remains strong and before the Justice addressed the Claremont McKenna community at large, he popped in for a little over an hour. My thoughts:

• Justice Scalia is a warm, jovial figure who would make an evil uncle, benevolent granddad, and very shrewd paterfamilias.
• He's got a knack for catchy turns of phrase. I'm almost thirty two percent positive his improptu lecture cum Q&A was off the record, so I'll stick to generalities...except for this choice quote. Referring to judicial activism (of both political persuasions), he managed to describe the federal judiciary as the "black-robed mad mullahs of the West." We all laughed.
• I really should have typed my notes instead of writing them. I can't read most.
• He really doesn't like independent counsels. And after hearing him talk, I don't either.
• Another funny anecdote, this one repeated in his later talk, so I'm happy to describe it here. In the recent flag-burning case, Scalia agreed with the majority ruling that declared the ban on flag-burning unconstitutional. His logic was sound: you can have a ban on burning in a specific place, but if so it must be a ban on burning "bags, rags and flags," a ban on any type of burning, not exclusively on flags. As a result, an explicit ordinance against the combustion of the Stars and Stripes (or the Stars and Bars for that matter) violates the First Amendment. Even though he would have loved to throw that "bearded, sandal-wearing, reprobate" (I'm not sure about that last one) in prison, he can't. Unfortunately, people don't like burning flags, which is why they often don't mind judicial activism, in this case and many others. The best illustration of how people feel viscerally had to be his wife, who, on the morning after the judgment, whistled "It's a Grand Old Flag" as she prepared breakfast.
• And, finally, ol' Scales should really hit the treadmill.

That last point should be qualified. Anty is packing some major pounds, but I will say he looked about twenty years younger than he is. It wasn't until much later that I discovered he is approaching 71...after seeing him in person, I would have guessed mid-fifties. Perhaps that's just because his hair isn't graying (though thinning) and he smokes (ergo, he is hip which means he must have been a twenty-something in the seventies, wriggling into leather pants...whoops, just went too far in the bizarro imagery department there).

So, maybe there's something to his rolls that is keeping him fresh and spritely. If so, Justice Scalia, let me be the first to point you to the truffle tray (unless, of course, the gout is acting up). May you judge many years yet. More stories on Scalia to come as I recall the wild after-party that followed (somehow, I managed to give every penny of my own and a ten of a friend of mine to the bartenders...even though it was a free bar...and they refused my tips...hrm).