An Apple a Day...

Good news, pederasts of the world! The United States House of Representatives isn't the only place you can be "overly friendly" with students for years and years and get paid for it. As a matter of fact, it's not even the easiest place to do so. Come one, come all, follow the guiding light of the Statue of Liberty, and teach children in New York City!

Joel Klein led the Justice Department's attack on Microsoft for its alleged efforts to monopolize the software market. But Microsoft is a hotbed of competition compared to the organization Klein runs now. Klein is chancellor of New York City's public school system, a monopoly so heavily regulated that sometimes it's unable to fire even dangerous teachers.

The series of steps a principal must take to dismiss an instructor is Byzantine. "It's almost impossible," Klein complains.

I know what you're thinking..."not salacious enough by half!" Fine. If you continue to read this Reason report by John Stossel, he really gets into the good stuff.

Once, Klein reports, the school system discovered that a teacher was sending sexual e-mails to a 16-year-old student. "This was the most unbelievable case to me," he says, "because the e-mail was there, he admitted to it. It was so thoroughly offensive." Even with the teacher's confession, it took six years of expensive litigation before the school could fire him. He didn't teach during those six years, but he still got paid—more than $350,000 total.

And that doesn't even tell you what actually finally got him fired. But don't take my word for it. Check the report out and follow the link to the full PDF report. (Don't cry about it, it's a cartoon. Neener.)